Last night I slowed down to a dead stop
In the frenzied bath-time routine I dashed from room to room, throwing clothes in the laundry basket, handing out toothbrushes, washing hair, warming milk, taking off my make-up, preparing uniforms for the next morning.
I concentrated on the Little Man, as he’s the youngest, knowing that Curly Girl is more than capable of undressing herself and getting into the bath without my help.
But still she called me for the fifth time; “Mummy, can you help me?”
I felt frustration start to pull gently at the edges of my voice and concentrated on keeping it sing-song-calm.
“You can do it, take your vest off, pop it in the laundry, ok?” I called back, willing her to get in the bath so they wouldn’t be too late for bed on a school night.
Once the little one was in the bath I strode next door wondering what was taking her so long.
And in my daughter’s room, she sat quietly on the floor, on her knees and simply said
‘Mama’
I stopped to look at her and realised something. That at THAT moment, she might have been the oldest, but she WANTED to be the youngest. She WANTED that help, that time with me, my attention, my time.
So I helped her get undressed and I held out my arms to her and said
“Do you want to be a baby for a few minutes?”
She lept into my chest and held on tight like a koala, repeating “Mama” over and over again with such relief and joy it sprung tears into my eyes.
We walked into the bathroom and I sat down on the closed loo seat, her still clinging to me and we just snuggled, her head on my shoulder, her lips on my neck.
My husband wandered past the door and glanced in looking puzzled.
“What’s she doing?” he asked.
“Hugging.” I said, simply.
After a few moments she lifted her head and watched her brother playing in the bath.
“I’m ready to get in the bath now,” she said. And I gently lifted her in.
I’d slowed down. The rest of the evening continued as normal.
And then in some strange moment of kismet this morning I read this followed immediately by this. It wasn’t a flash, bang, immediately-everything-started-to-make-sense-to-me moment. I KNOW I do too much, rush too much, fill my days, my to-do list, my life. I balance on a knife edge, almost falling, righting myself.
I DO need to slow down.
But I’ll admit that I’m not ready yet.
In the meantime I’m going to try to slow down just once a day. To actually listen. To spend a moment longer in that hug. To let my children be the children that THEY need to be.
Are you ready to slow down?
Linking up with Brilliant Blog Posts at Honest Mum, Post Comment Love at Verily Victoria Vocalises, The B&W Photography Project at PODcast, Welcome to the Weekend at Claire Justine, Magic Moments at The Olivers Madhouse and Ordinary Moments at Mummy Daddy Me
I need to slow down!! I try and fill mine and their days with so much that I forget sometimes they just want to sit and cuddle!
I know exactly what you mean Helen, I am just the same. I don’t so much forget to stop and smell the roses as say ‘roses, what roses?’. This was a real lesson for me to take the time to be the Mum they need me to be x
That just brought a tear to my eye, so i had to stop by and comment! Your evening sounds exactly the same as mine in respect of the multitasking whirlwind of jobs to do. I think we all need that reminder now and again to slow down, thou our intentions are always good! Last night I brought the ironing downstairs to iron while the little ones watched Polar Express, normally i would have been wizzing around at top speed but it was nice to slow down and spend time together (even if i was working!) Its hard to find the balance isnt it, thanks for the reminder
You’re so right, we do need that reminder from time to time, and I’m finding more and more that it’s my little ones that are giving it to me. Out of the mouth of babes was never a truer saying… thanks for commenting, it means the world x
This made me cry, because it’s so beautifully written but also because I know I need to do the same. My instinct is to be everywhere at once, to rush around attending to everyone’s needs. Then I’m surprised late at night, when I feel like I’ve hardly ‘seen’ anyone! I think kids are good at letting you know when enough is enough though, as your daughter did. Good for you for listening. These days I also try to slow down at least once a day (can’t do it all the time as old habits die hard!).
Oh Eline sorry to make you blub! This post has touched a nerve with a lot of us I think. Thanks for your lovely comment x
Aww lovely post, sometimes my daughter just say stop what your doing and I look at her and she grabs me for cuddles, I love these surprise moments
thanks for linknig up #weekendbloghop
They really are precious moments that we have to grab with both hands aren’t they x
Really organic post. Love it! At night so many thoughts are running in my head. As a mother I am trying to remember things that we need tomorrow. Schedules, bills, deadlines. This makes me giddy even if evenings are for rest. My body looks like it is resting but my brain is all wired up. Resting, slowing down and taking time to be with our children can do wonders to everyone. I wish I can do this. I will try. But sadly not tonight for me. #pocolo
I know exactly what you mean. Vicki wrote a great post about being a working Mum over on her blog http://www.HonestMum.com this week and it speaks a lot to the balancing act that we Mums have to do! I am the Queen of organisation; I write lists every day, use Co-Schedule to schedule my blog posts and social media messages and plan ahead as much as I can to make sure that I can step back when I want to and spend that all important time with the little ones. It doesn’t always work though and sometimes there’s a wake-up call like this one to remind me what’s important x
I love this blog post – I also read that post about not saying hurry up and I actually blogged about it as it did make me stop and think. The beauty of the job I currently do is that I’m not too rushed when I’m with the kids during the day, as that’s what I’m paid to do, so we laugh lots, we hug, we tickle, we sing and we dance. L is nearly 8 and is 6 years older than my “baby” but I was always worried she would feel overlooked so I often call her my “big baby” or tell her “you’ll always be my baby”, and she climbs on my lap and we cuddle. The fact that she is so light and I can still carry her helps! Great, great post xx
It’s so important to let them have that moment when they need it, isn’t it Sophie? I think once they go to school it’s easy to forget that they’re still really only very young x x
Aww big hugs, I am very much guilty of this, it’s hard to do it all. But we do need to slow down. Easier said that done. You are an awesome mum x
Hugs right back Susan x x
Such a powerful post Michelle!
I dunno, I think you’ve read my mind the last few days (!!) as yesterday’s read that you shared and this couldn’t have come at a better time for me so thank you. x I’m taking all next week off as a result of both reads, will explain why with a blog post soon.
I’m so glad that you not only managed to stop and listen to your daughter and acknowledge what she needed, but that you decided to share it too. Life is so precious yet most of us spend our lives running around with not a second to spare. Thanks for the reminder that actually, it’s more than ok to slow down from time to time to enjoy life and those we love. xxx
I actually wasn’t planning to write this post yesterday as I had another post to draft for a client but the words just started tumbling out. Sometimes I think you have to get out of your own way when you’re writing because there’s something that demands to be said. This was one of those moments for me. I’m glad it inspired you, but I hope that you don’t leave it too long until you’re back at your blog – I LOVE your posts and you’re one of my inspirations! x x
Love this, we are all doing so much aren’t we and juggling everything but I love this post and that you slowed down (so important). I loved the FB post you shared too, these moments with our kids are really the times of our lives and amongst all the work and running to and from school, we need to stop and absorb as much as possible. I have to have time off and try not to work on weekends, switching off anything digital bar Netflix by 9pm every night so I can get quality time with my husband too! I want a career but not to miss out on precious family time too! I lost two friends this year and they left young children behind but I think of them every day and cherish this time in our lives, even the frantic, pull my hair out moments too x
Thanks lovely, absolutely right. I’m so sorry to hear that you lost two friends this year – sometimes we get a wake-up call that reminds us to notice the little things and cherish every moment. The trick is to heed that call I think while not beating ourselves up too much I think. As we always say, it’s a balance, isn’t it x
Really is darling, thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts x
You’re so right and it’s a lesson I need to remind myself every day – if only just once. Thanks for commenting x
Aww this made me well up! Bless her such a little sweetie! So lovely to take the time and enjoy that simple little beautiful moment x
It was a real lesson to me. I don’t manage it all the time but once a day I’m learning to slow down. Thanks for commenting x
I have just read those links and wow! Thanks again xx
I know right? *sniff*
I am actually crying. This is beautiful and I think you hit a nerve. I need to do this desperately but also need to get things going and earn money. Tricky isn’t, I need to be a better and more child focused mummy and it breaks my heart xx #BrillBlogPosts
Oh honey I didn’t mean to make anyone cry – this has seemed to resonate with so many people. And don’t beat yourself up! We’re all doing the best we can with what we have. Your children see you working and achieving and THAT is a fantastic lesson for them too x
Beautiful and yes you are right xx
to stop enjoy
Thanks Claire x
We should trade! You need to slow down, I need to speed up! It’s hard to get that balance isn’t it
You’re so right honey striking a balance is difficult and I’m still a work in progress on that!
What a lovely post, you’ve inspired me today
x
Thank you so much! That’s made my day x
This post made me more emotional than is probably right, then I clicked through to the posts you linked to and it literally tipped me over the edge. Our babies mean so much to us. I think for both of us, they have filled us with a new sense of purpose and being that nothing before ever could and nothing after ever will.
But we are busy. We feel we are ‘too busy’ too often to do the small things that really make a difference in a child’s day. The moment to snuggle when we’re really thinking of the pot that needs to be turned off on the stove, or an impromptu jump through the puddles instead of worrying about missing the bus.
I love that you took time to cuddle and let Curly girl be the baby for a moment. It’s so sweet and heart warming. Yesterday, we had to do the same when we let off our first firework and Princess burst into terrified tears. We cuddled and snuggled until it was ok rather than brush off the moment as being silly.
Lovely post M!
x T (sorry for the essay!)
Those posts are amazing aren’t they? I’m following her now and hope that her posts will be a reminder to me. Thank you for your amazing comment lovely lady x
I just welled up a little bit there… I am massively tired, though. Such a lovely post Michelle. I definitely need to slow down, Monkey told me recently to put my phone down and play with him… So I’ll take that as a warning sign. But like you, I have too much to do. I think it’s trying to balace everything, that’s the key. Easier said than done though xx
Oh sweetie *passes tissue* – thank you for your kind words. You’re so right that the warning signs are often there but we often miss them in our busy-ness… x
Sorry if that sounded preachy. Didn’t mean it to.
It didn’t at all x
What I always think is that how we are, is what we are modelling for our children. Think how often you open your mouth and your mother’s words come out! So if I’m calm, and have time for life, then there’s a good chance they will as adults. If I’m hectic, stressed, over-tired, then I’m setting them up for that too. Our lives are what they assume adult life is.
So yes, just one stop every evening is great, because it shows them that you think that is important.
And now, oops, I’m late for work, so rush, rush, rush, off I’ll go!!
Wise words as always from you lovely – not at all preachy and so true. Thank you x