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Posted by on Mar 14, 2011 in Travel | 11 comments

How not to arrive for R and R

I thought I was going to die yesterday. It seemed simple enough to take a taxi ride across town for some lady maintenance while Daddy and Curly Girl had some quality time together. But I hadn’t banked on my driver being a shoe-in for the next open spot in F1. There are two taxi speeds here, normal and warp. Unfortunately, I got the latter.

We shot down Danshui Lu like a bullet from a gun with scant regard for anyone in our path. My life flashed before my eyes on more than one occasion as we swerved to narrowly avoid cyclists turning across our path without a) signalling or b) checking to see if there was a mad taxi driver hurtling towards them on a direct collision course. The main roads here are pretty good but the ride in this charabang was bone-shaking. At least my cellulite got a good work out. At one point I thought we were going to lose the car body and carry on without it, Laurel and Hardy style.

So I decided the best option was just not to look out the windscreen at all and passed the rest of the ride looking through my fingers as this travelling horror movie unfolded before me. When we finally arrived I waited for my stomach to catch us up and reflected that this probably wasn’t the most relaxed way to arrive for some R and R. But on the plus side, people pay good money for roller-coaster rides and this one only cost me the equivalent of £1.50.

Photo credit: Me :D
  • Trish and Tell

    This is absolutely bloody hilarious, my lovely! xx

  • bod for tea

    Wasn’t funny at the time I can tell you! Glad it made you smile today though gorg :D xxx

  • Trish and Tell

    Yes, I actually thought afterwards that I probably shouldn’t be enjoying your near death experience quite so much :)

  • yuckymum

    Hahaha…I know exactly what you mean! I was in China, a little while ago and experienced “Death Race 2000″….in the rain! The taxi’s windscreen wipers weren’t working and we hurtled through Shanghai…blind! The screaming was kept down by bile, whilst I gripped hold of the seat in front. AND, there was no door handle on the inside so I couldn’t have thrown myself out, even if I’d wanted to!! You’ve just brought back my nightmare! Thanks !!
    Glad I found your blog..

  • bod for tea

    Yep, sounds about par for the course. And sometimes, if you’re very lucky, there are seatbelts. But they won’t work. Sorry you had to go through this too! Thanks for popping by :D

  • Jpbrandanophoto

    You had me laughing the whole ride. Really well written. I remember a cab ride in Rome
    when I thought it was all over lol I started following you

  • Scribhneoir Blog

    Love the bit about waiting for your stomach to catch up!

    Strange how your scary moments can be someone else’s afternoon entertainment :)

  • bod for tea

    It was at least three streets behind me! Glad it made you smile :D

  • bod for tea

    Welcome to Bod for tea and thanks for dropping by *waves*

  • Laura

    Over from blog gems- Loving the idea of pothole cellulite busting- how long before they charge us a fortune for that at the local spa??

  • bod for tea

    Oh about 5 mins I expect! Thanks for dropping by :D