And then I got to thinking.
OH doesn't thank me when he's had a couple of hours in front of the TV on Saturday afternoon while DD and I paint
Or at dinnertime when I'm persuading DD to eat a mouthful of whatever I've put in front of her.
Or at bathtime when I'm chasing her round the house trying to get her clothes off.
Or at bedtime when I'm trying to ignore the new need a drink of water/need Bonjella/need new nappy delay tactics (impressive for a two year old I feel).
And I don't expect him to. That's just what I do. That's being Mummy.
We picked our roles traditionally when we became parents. I stay home and OH goes out to work. I'm totally fine with that, it works for us.
But raising a child is a joint responsibility regardless of the role that you play. I feel it's only polite to thank anyone for letting me have a little time out, but I'm left wondering... when a working partner babysits while the stay-at-home partner takes a break, is that babysitting or is that just, in fact, parenting?
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Such a good post, I do this all the time and it drives me nuts Hubby always says I shouldn't have to thank him but it feels wrong not to when I am thankful! But then it annoys me that I never get thanked even though I know he appreciates what I do!
ReplyI think it's just being a dad!
ReplyOne of my friends said he couldn't meet my husband for a drink the other night because he was "babysitting", when in fact he was just looking after his own son. For me, the term "babysitting" implies a temporary responsibility when being a parent is a full-time role, whether you work or not. You "babysit" someone else's child, you "look after" your own. It's just called being a parent. That's what I tell my husband anyway!
It's a tough one isn't it? I feel I should thank him, but I wonder whether my perspective is wrong.
ReplyThis is a great definition of babysitting that I shall memorise and use from now on!
ReplyHilarious! I always ask if my OH can 'babysit' but how can it be babysitting when it's his own child?! It is just parenting. Men just have it a lot easier, if I want to do anything, then I have to check with him first whereas he just makes plans all the time without asking me if I am free to 'babysit'! x
ReplyIt's interesting isn't it, the way we perceive our roles as parents. Thanks for commenting :D
ReplySpot on. It's parenting. You shouldn't need to say thank you - it's OH's job to give you some much needed you time.
ReplyActually he does give me time, when I ask for it, I guess what I'm inspecting here is our respective roles and how I perceive mine... thanks for your supporting comment *grins* :D
ReplyI always say thanks to 'the dad' when he does things with them, which is ridiculous. He says I dont need to thank him and stop being so dumb, but I can't help it. Its something I do automatically. Weird.
ReplyFrom talking to others I think this is something that a lot of us do. It's interesting isn't it?
ReplyI also came to this realisation recently, I have always seen the children as my responsibility . This has menat that there were many things that I would like to do but can't because I don't have anyone to watch the kids. My husband on the other hand can do as he likes, comforted by the fact that the kids are with me. I recently had a revelation and thought the kids are actually our responsibility and I need a chance to do things for me too without feeling I am asking him to babysit.
ReplyWe have recently separated and now suddenly it all seems a bit more equal.
This post seems to have hit a chord with a lot of people. I'm sorry to hear that you have separated from your partner. Thanks so much for sharing your own perspective.
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