Friday, 31 December 2010

Mother Nature's sense of humour

So I was looking in the bathroom mirror today, trying to coax my hair into looking less like a birds nest and more like something faintly resembling the 'before' photo of a hair makeover (I like to keep my expectations realistic), when I realised, with some shock I can tell you, what a true comedienne Mother Nature is.

Let me start by saying that I do respect ol' Mama N. After all she did a pretty good job with birds, bees, and the general flora and fauna around us, I love that as a new Mum last year my body was capable of producing everything that little DD needed, and clearly I don't want to incur any wrath at this point, but really, can't we ladies catch a break once in a while? This morning's case in point - boobs. Or rather lack of them. When I was pregnant with DD they were full globes of loveliness. OH marvelled at them. I marvelled at them. I thought someone might erect a statue in honour of them. And they kindly stuck around after DD arrived, if anything looking even better. But then this morning, I'm faced with two rather pitifully flat pancakes. Where did the other boobs go? I tried looking under my armpits, thinking perhaps they'd slipped round when I wasn't paying attention, but they weren't there. Had they sloped off for a night out and left these stand-ins in their place? And more importantly, is that all there is now?!

OK, so it's been eighteen months since DD popped out into the world, and I'm not naive enough to think that there wouldn't have been any changes to a body that could have been mistaken for one of the pavilions at the Shanghai Expo when it was 'with child' (yes I was that big), but surely it's the cruelest of jokes to not only take away what looked so good but to leave less than there was in the beginning?!

Image: federico stevanin /
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