Why I’m in training for nursery school

There are many firsts to contend with in the life of a toddler. You’re born, (hello world, which b**gger switched off the heating?) then there’s your first tooth (who put that there?), your first birthday (ooo shiny paper!), your first walk (wheeeeee!) and your first word (daddy, of course). All momentous occasions in our little DD’s life. And now another one is just around the corner – her first day at nursery.

I took all the other firsts in my stride, so why, I wonder is this one causing me to quake in my GAP slippers? Perhaps it’s because, rather like a transmitter, any time I’m out of range she lets out a loud alarm call and has a meltdown. Yes, I think that’s it. And so it is with some trepidation that I’m preparing for this rather huge first by acquiring some new skills.

Skill: Selective hearing.
Requirement: The ability to ignore toddler’s plaintive cries as you leave her at the nursery door and the subsequent 60 minutes of sobbing as you sit quivering outside said door.
Training: Ignore OH’s requests for dinner.
Effort level: Training – easy. Live event – almost impossible.

Skill: Stealth.
Requirement: The ability to leave the nursery without toddler noticing so that the wailing doesn’t begin until you’ve had a chance to slurp at least half your coffee at the local coffee shop.
Training: Tiptoeing down the stairs in the morning, avoiding the creaking floorboards, to get some ‘me’ time in before DD wakes up.
Effort level: Training – every day occurrence. Live event – tricky as toddler develops bat-level hearing on walking through the nursery door.

Skill: Speed.
Requirement: The ability to leg it back to the nursery from the coffee shop at breakneck speed if you get THAT call telling you that toddler has broken their arm/leg/another child’s arm/leg/been sick or otherwise caused so much fuss that they’re fed up of it.
Training: Breaking the land speed record on foot. In flip flops.
Effort level: Training – take DD to the shops and let go. Chase after her wildly trying to prevent every item on the shelves being deposited on the floor. Live event – more difficult as there’s traffic to dodge.

With only two days to go until she steps through those nursery school doors into a world of wonder, learning, play and independence, I’m starting to feel the strain. So I’m off to practice my skills and ignore the creaky boards while tiptoeing silently down the stairs at warp speed.

Do you have a toddler starting nursery school this year? What skills are you developing to cope with the first day?

Image: Walker.co.uk